meaning

116:365


... in the wee hours of the night... I took my daughter to the ER for a horrible migraine. Having suffered with them as a teenager (and ever since) ... I had hoped that she would not get them. But alas... she was in a full blown migraine with all the side effects thereof. I felt so bad for her... and she was an amazing trouper throughout the whole ordeal.
Fortunately, we got some wonderful care at the west side Lovelace hospital... and she is mostly better now.
Thank the gods for good drugs.


As a result... I spent most of the daylight asleep....waking late into the afternoon. I took only 4 photos... as I was rushing out the door to go buy my son and his new bride a bed (mattress/box spring and frame). It was the main thing they really needed... and I found a really nice one at Sam's Club online... so we went to get one at the store.
I haven't been to a Sam's Club in several years...having let my membership expire. However... I was happily surprised to see a wonderful selection of fresh fruits, veggies, and cheeses there! We ended up getting some fresh strawberries, blue cheese, salad supplies and the best looking mushrooms I've seen in quite awhile.... along with the bed, of course.
We then took it over to my son's new apartment... and helped set it up for them.


Being home is wonderful....but I've been feeling very guilty about alot of things. Not being here for all the wedding preparations....being behind on my blog.... not being in PA to help with my parents (and dad is not doing well)....being behind on artwork and projects....it's all been a bit overwhelming.

And so I took Sabrina for a walk. I wasn't more than 50 feet away from my front door... when a gorgeous owl swooped over my head. He was gliding ever so slowly... and had I simply reached my hand toward the sky I would have been able to touch him.... he was that close. As he was gliding just over my head... he turned his head and looked right at me... then went on his way to a tree nearby.
It was very surreal. It was as if time itself had slowed down to a crawl so that I could enjoy that moment just a little bit longer. I didn't see him again... nor did he ever call out into the night... but I am convinced that he wanted me to see him.... to feel his presence... to understand his spirit.. if only for a moment.

I have long believed in totem animals... and that they come during certain times to give us specific messages. According to one website:

"the OWL - brings us wisdom, teaches us about the mystery of magic, vision in the night. Owl, the night hunter, has the ability to see what others may miss. The gift of this medicine is to be undeceived by external appearances and to discover the truth beneath them."

I also read on another link that the owl was considered to be the companion of souls as it moved from one world to the next... making the owl thoughtful, a guardian, and able to see and guide through transitions. I am not sure what this particular owl was trying to relate to me.... but I am comforted, in awe, and blessed by his presence tonight.

To see more on owls and their symbolic meanings... look here

***all photos by Elaine A. Russell

pain



photos by Elaine A. Russell

i have been having problems with some really bad pain for about 3 weeks now... and it is definately wearing me out. emotionally and otherwise. so....as I lay awake trying not to notice it, it got me thinking about all the aspects of pain.

pain is such a subjective thing.
what may be painful for some, is just an annoyance to others. some are so used to chronic pain that nothing phases them. others, every little thing is one more straw that breaks them in two. pain spans the compass from emotional to physical and back again. it is transcendent. it can take you to terrible places, and yet it can also help you to rise above and bask in an altered state. pain can make you feel like you are dying, and it can also make you feel alive.
pain is part of the body's defense system, triggering a reflex reaction to retract from a painful stimulus -- yes, it actually protects us while it is inflicting us at the same time.
pain knows no prejudice. it rains on everyone without distinction. it crosses all barriers, ethnicity, age, and social status.
many great people have commented on pain actually being a gift- to help them towards enlightenment... and yet, it is also seen as punishment.
pain is immeasurable. there is even a problem known as Phantom pain.... pain from a limb that is no longer even there.
there is even Psychogenic pain, pain that is profoundly exacerbated by mental illness.
there is pain that is even preferred by some.. sought out purposefully... to bring pleasure.
pain is individual, and it can be pandemic.
here is a great link on the subject:

connections -- reflection -- communication



photos by Elaine A. Russell



Communication. An ability we automatically take for granted, and yet.. so easy to completely screw up. Just a tone.. just a mis-used word... can change the entire context of a conversation... and bring things into a completely different light.

As an example... did you know that the word SET has the most definitions of any word in the english language? Yep. SET has 464 definitions in the Oxford English Dictionary.

And then... Even with people you have great connections with, it can sometimes go astray. And then there's the whole emotional context that can go along with things.. and completely cause us to muddle things up. A mis-interpretation, a misunderstanding... it can all mess us up.

I think I read somewhere that the english language is the hardest one to learn. Actually -- I think it's broader than that. I think it's the language of trust. To be able to get past supposed transgressions; and move on to closer, more solid ground with each other.

I am so glad to have good friends. I am so grateful that my hubby really knows me-- and still loves me. I am grateful for my kids who laugh with me... and not at me ( or at least.. not to my face). Such simple things...and yet, so important.

getting charged up

photo by Elaine A. Russell



Getting charged up ....for a couple more shows --which is awesome. I am going to be participating in a photo show, and also the Grand Re-Opening of the Factory on 5th. Both shows are coming up in the next few weeks... so stay tuned for details.
On a side note...
I have finally caught up with most of my mixed media projects. This is very cool, because I'm kinda OCD, and now I can work on new projects without feeling guilty about old projects that I have never finished. It's just the way it is.
Also on a side note...
Today I went to eat at the Korean BBQ place on Central (http://www.koreanbbqhousenm.com/index.html). The only time I had sushi, and liked it... was when I was pregnant with my son (a lifetime ago) when we lived in Mississippi. I have been to several sushi restaurants since then... but never found any I really liked, until tonight. The sushi was fabulous. The wasabi was awesome. Even the iced tea was good. It was a little pricey ( dinner worked out to be $16 per person )... but it was really good.



what's it all mean



top photo and middle photo by Elaine A. Russell, bottom photo by Kristin Russell/ treatment by Elaine A. Russell

so what does it all mean. pop stars, icons, and ordinary people amongst us dying at alarming rates.. or so it seams.
trash magazines predicting the end of days... money troubles, world issues, hunger, joblessness, fatique, health problems, troubles and tribulations....
not that this is anything new. we have been having issues since we arrived in this world.
do you trust the culture of the day >> the scientific and knowledgeable minds that be ?
do you rely on tradition, religion, that which speaks to your soul...
do you sit on the bench of life and wonder... what is happening in this world.. can I effect a change... am I all that I can be in this world....
and then there are tensions that cause us to snap and argue with those we love. to inadvertently hurt one another. crisis and failure. ebb and flow. high and low tides.
what is the answer ... is there an answer... and some would say -- what was the bloody question ?
today is a flux of emotions. common sense tries to prevail. the heart speaks louder and louder.
be gentle and caring with one another.
do the best you can.
let go and release that which is left.