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It doesn't feel like the Christmas season to me. I think it is because of all the traveling I did this year... and that it sort of distorted time a bit for me... but I still feel like it ought to be autumn.
I don't dislike Christmas... but to be honest... it's never been my favorite holiday. When I was a kid... it seemed like it was an excuse for some people to behave rather badly... and it seemed to never end well. Perhaps it is just a distortion of my memories... but it's there none-the-less.
BAJ has certainly done his best to make the holidays nicer... and having the kids always made it certainly better... but I still tend to get "down" at this time of year.

I know that I am not alone. And while knowing that doesn't necessarily solve the problem... it does offer some reassurance. Plus... there are lots of helpful informational sites out there... with hints and helps such as:

1. Stay Active. Get enough exercise and fresh air. Eat healthy.
2. Start new traditions. Understand what works for you and what doesn't.
"Starting new traditions is a good way to lift your spirits and focus your energy outside yourself."
3. Be aware of your family's dynamics. If shopping with Uncle Fester always makes you sad... don't do it!
4. Don't swallow the hype. "Christmas isn’t about gorgeous decorations, unbelievably happy families, and expensive gifts. Don’t fall into the trap of trying to be perfect or feel ecstatically happy. The stores, commercials, malls, Martha Stewart shows and radio advertisements turn Christmas into a merchandising cash cow – they also make Christmas about being flawless and full of glitter. Don’t fall into that pit of despair, which will send you headlong into an even deeper Christmas depression."
5. Don't be afraid to seek professional help. If you or a loved one are suffering... get outside help.


*photo by Elaine A. Russell

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Today I saw an interesting post on Facebook. A lady I know was sending out a plea for financial help... and I responded. Now, this is a fantastic woman... one of great strength. A single parent to a special needs child... an artist... and hard worker. This was not someone who was simply asking for a handout. She... like so many of us... has had a hard year financially... and was at a stressing point, and needed help.

I so understand this. My husband has a great job, that he loves... that actually pays quite well. However, we have debt out the ying-yang. Most of the debt is from past medical bills on my part, home improvements and such. It is the "American way of life"... someone once jokingly said... and I am inclined to agree. It's almost as if, if you are not $30,000 in debt or some such... then you are not American... he he. In our case... it was not from spending frivolously or stupidly... and it was the same for this woman.

But it's more than that. It's sometimes all too easy to get behind the curve ball... and then things snowball... and before you know it... things are out of control. Each time I have traveled to PA... I end up spending at least $1500-2000 on hotels, food, gas, and then costs while I am there... and then back again. I have gone 4 times in the past year. Yes, you do the math. It's not that I would not go (obviously)... but it has put a huge strain on things financially. Such is life. We will get thru it. It may take us a bit longer than we would like... but it's still in the range of possible.
With my friend... not so much. And so ... yes. By all means YES. If my small "donation to the cause" can help... I will gladly do so. I know she would do the same for me. And isn't that what this is all about? Helping each other when we can... in ways we can.

Have a happy HAPPY night ... and take care of one another :)


*photo by Elaine A. Russell

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Another long sleepless night. I am beginning to think I am cursed... well... not really. But you know what I mean. Around 5am, the daughter and I headed out to Satellite for a steaming cuppa... did you know they open at 5:30am? Eeeeeegads that is early. However, the coffee was hot and fresh... and the company was awesome. I also noticed that they have local artwork on the walls by Alexandra Gjurasic. Alexandra was one of the fabulous artists featured at the Chinese New Year show in 2009... right before I left the Wooden Cow Gallery and Art Space. She does fabulous stuff... and you can see more of it HERE...

From there we went to KrispyKreme ... who has THE BEST glazed doughnuts ever... and discovered that they have the coolest couches in their cafe areas (I'm told they just got them a couple weeks ago). We drove home, and watched the sun rise up over the Sandias on the way.... it was awesome.

I love my bed. A couple years ago... the hubby and I splurged on a TempurPedic wonder. While it took us forever to pay it off.... it has been well worth it. Handmade quilts.... flannel sheets... it is a wondrous thing to behold. Not to mention ... sweet, loving Sabrina..... (and my dear hubby of course)

I have been having a conflict with a loved one. I won't detail it more... because it is a delicate and personal matter... but I felt that I owed my readership an explanation of sorts as to why things have been a bit wonky around here. It is a horrible and tragic thing.... to love and care for someone and not be able to do a dang thing about the tension and stress of a crappy situation. It's hard to love someone for a long time... and have things fall apart ... especially over what seems to be trivia in the whole scheme of things.

But. I am ever hopeful. Ever optimistic. This morning as I was getting ready to try to sleep... there were tons of rainbows flitting about my bedroom. I have long had the habit of hanging crystals and beads and things from my curtain rods... and today I was swarmed with the bright lights and glitterati... it was fabulous... and hopefully... a sign of good things to come...

**photos by Elaine A. Russell

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------------------------------ photo of a "laying on of hands" blessing for my dad....

Somehow, I missed not only making a blog post... but I didn't even manage to get a post saved to do at a later date. Ah well.... And so... this will be a combined post of what happened on Tuesday and Wednesday....

It is a funny thing. Some days I feel are so incredibly busy that I hardly have a chance to even think about it... and yet.... when I look back on the day... I wonder what I actually got done. These 2 days are a prime example of that.

Dad is home from the hospital... and it has really been kind of a blur. Getting his medications straight... and financed through the pharmacy (one of his meds cost $9300 for a 28 day supply-- and yes, you read that right). Writing down pill schedules... compiling a list of phone numbers for easy reference... cleaning off bulletin boards, desk tops and such of unnecessary stuff. Even going thru what seems to be an endless stash of pens... most of which don't work.
I have been organizing mail/ bills/ important papers... things like that. It feels impressive... but sure doesn't look it.
And in between times... doing the day to day stuff.


-------------------------------------endless papers to go thru....


And trying to install a new shower head/ wand/ thingie for use while sitting in the shower... except that the only one in town *(and of course it was expensive)... doesn't seem to even work. And I've lost the receipt. And now I can't get it back off....and it's leaking...
ergh.

Stuff like that. Plus... I am essentially not worth spit now that I hurt my back. I can hardly move.
And then throw in the girl who came to the house (while I was supposed to be laying down and resting my back for a bit)...because she had cut her arms up (intentionally) and wanted me to drive her somewhere... and all the while being generally hysterical... it has just been "a day"... so to speak.

------------------------------------all photos by Elaine A. Russell


But then the blessings....nice weather... spring flowers... the birds that come to the backyard and are so very lovely.... my daughter being so sweet, and kind, and helpful... the fact that my parents are still around... and together... and enjoying the day as much as they are able....a friend who came just to say HI and massage my back...

...It certainly puts a more balanced perspective on things... and I need to keep that uppermost in my mind.