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One of the other articles I came across when looking at all the "keys to success" information out there on the internet... was an interesting piece by a creative life coach. The interesting part for me, was how some people can actually sort of sabotage their own success in life because deep down they believe they are not "worthy" of success.

I know, I know... but the more I thought about it... the more it made sense. In fact... it really made sense.

"Lack of self-love, self-acceptance and self-appreciation are issues that affect a majority of the population. I believe this is a silent epidemic. Nobody wants to admit that they don’t love themselves. Unfortunately, too many people have taken on other people’s negative observations and judgments about themselves and made them their own.

In addition, for many people, there can be a huge gap between the image they have of themselves and the image they present to the world. This gap leads to disharmony and creates constant tension within the person. They sit and wait for the bottom to fall out and the world to discover how defective or inadequate they really feel. "

Now... I am not a shrink... and I do not play one on TV... *he he*.... but there is a sort of logic to this. If I try hard to do things that will lead me towards my goals... and yet... deep down... I don't really feel like I deserve it... then it is bound to fail. Call it "sending out mixed signals"... or whatever...

The life coach goes on to describe how she feels that you can have a more positive/ accurate picture of who you really are... so that you don't sabotage yourself... but there are lots of avenues a person could take to discover their true self. Here again... it seems to be a matter of introspection... and really thinking and being honest with yourself; about yourself. OR... talk to someone you trust to give you honest feedback about how you present yourself.

For me... I know that I have a somewhat *poor* self esteem... that is not shocking news. What was sort of shocking though was that my poor image could actually have an impact on the success of some of my ventures. ... food for thought...

*photo by Elaine A. Russell

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-----------------------------> Original photo; taken in PA of a pink dogwood tree in bloom


Sometimes I am an idiot. Seriously stupid.

About a year or so ago... I briefly had a Nikon D70 (2nd hand equipment, bought from a friend). Before that; I only shot photos with film. I love film. At one time, I specialized in hand coloring of infrared photos... and it was awesome (note to self... do more)... but I digress.

Last September, all my Nikon equipment was either stolen, broken, or hopelessly worn out. Selling the remains, I was able to buy a Kodak Easyshare camera... a simple "pocket" digital camera ... for about $140. And... this is the only camera I have used since. (so yes, all the photos on my blog and such were shot with the Kodak).

I mention this only to show that my experience in the world of digital photography is pretty slim.

One of the types of photography I absolutely adore; is TTV. Through the Viewfinder photography is simply that... you take a photo.... through the viewfinder of another camera (*usually an old one... I have a Kodak Duaflex for this purpose). Since getting the Kodak, it is darn near impossible to get a good shot TTV with the Duaflex because the focal abilities on the Kodak just aren't what they need to be for this kind of thing.


-----------------------> 2nd stage. Photo is cropped and the color somewhat overly tweaked, etc....

So... missing this type of photography very much... I decided to explore other ways to get that look. Using PhotoShop or some such program (I use a free program online called FotoFlexer)... you can get this effect by using a "layer" on top of your photo that you want to make look TTV. This "layer" is actually another photo that you essentially collage on top, and then lighten so that you can see through it to the photo below.

But to find a TTV photo frame to use as a layer..... ah. FlickR! There are tons of textures and layers available for people to use. However; most of these images come with copyright rules and regs.... so you need to be aware of that. Or... you can make your own layers/ textures... which frankly... I have never tried.

I have been using a TTV texture with my photos these past 2 weeks ( I also used it once about 7 months ago for a project... then quickly forgot about it or where it was from). I thought this layer was free from copyright laws... and I was madly in love with it. But last night I discovered that it was copyrighted work. What to do? I certainly have the utmost respect for artists and creative people everywhere and completely understand the importance of copyrighting your work. I did not want to offend anyone, or use anything without permission. I was awake all night worrying... and sad at the thought of not being able to put these photos in a show ... or to potentially sell them should the occasion arise... and then... thinking that maybe I shouldn't even post them on my blog or FlickR and that I would have to take them all down... or...or .... I was frantic....

The texture I fell in love with; happens to be the creative work of Deborah Gwinn. She is a fabulous artist, and after writing to her today, she graciously gave me permission to use her texture on my photos for personal use as well as for selling/ showing. WOW! I am thrilled. Beyond happy. And very fortunate... and very blessed... and in awe of the niceness of people...

So... show her some love folks... and check out her links♥

-------------------------------->the final rendering with Deborah's awesome texture layer

Deborah Gwinn's photostream on FlickR: here

Deborah Gwinn's Etsy shop: here

Deborah Gwinn's website: here