(you can click on this photo; and see it larger )I've heard the phrase..."God never gives you more than you can handle..."... and yet, I have to wonder. My mother is devastated. I have seen grief... in so many different forms and stages over the years... as a nurse.... as a family member.... as a friend.... I have seen so very much of death in the past.
Some people handle it with quiet resolution, others anger... but with my mom; the tears just keep coming... shaking with sobs... unable to calm herself... unable to eat... unable to sleep. She has always been a nervous/ anxious/ restless personality.... but this... there is no fixing this. I feel so helpless.
And I seem to be at the opposite end of the spectrum... missing my father... and yet... relieved that he is no longer in pain... satisfied in the knowledge that I will see him again some day.
I believe that she feels that way too... it's just that her way of showing emotion is so very different than mine. Neither way is better... neither way is worse. It just is.
I mention this only because it was casually mentioned to me that I must not care or some such... because I was not falling apart with grief.
Needless to say, I know this to be far from the truth.
Today; after we had appointments making preparations for services on Friday... I took my mom to eat at a local burger shack type place. The owners are friends of my parents, and it was nice to visit with them. We got to talking about cars... and the owner went and got his 1959 Thunderbird to show me. He is only the 2nd owner... and the car has only 62,000 miles on it. Pristine! Gorgeous! Classic!
And I thought of my dad... who soooooooo loved vintage cars... and could feel him smiling...
*photos by Elaine A. Russell