13:365:2011

So much has happened in the last few months... that it is sometimes hard to fathom it all.

In the spirit of sharing... with the intent of perhaps helping someone else... I will be attempting to do some more "heavy" posts. Not all the time, mind you... as that too... would be overwhelming.

But... life is hard sometimes... and if there is some chance that there is a person out there who would potentially benefit from reading about my experiences... so be it.

To that end... I would like to share... that I had a fairly abusive childhood. There was lots of alcoholism, and violence, and more than a share of mental disorders in my family. I am not mentioning this out of pity... but to encourage people that things can be overcome. People do survive. Lives can be changed.

I was fortunate in that ... I married a wonderful man... who does not drink... who is not abusive in any way... and who; in fact.... is very loving and supportive of me. This could easily have not been the case. My first fiance was a fairly heavy drinker, and prone to a violent temper... and it was strictly thru grace that we did not marry.... although I was quite crushed at the time.
As it so happens... I am told that he is now quite happily married... and doing well... and I wish him the very best.

We... as it turns out... were definitely NOT to be... and that is a wonderful thing.

~~~~~

So... how does my photo... relate to the post for today?

Be "ram tough." Buck history if it doesn't fit you and what you want to do in life. Chew up and spit out anything that does not benefit you. And don't let others "get your goat" or take advantage of you. You deserve to be treated well... and with kindness... and compassion... and respect. And like the persevering goat... be joyful... be independent... be strong.

*photo by Elaine A. Russell

248:365

Every family has it's quirks... and mine is no exception. I used to joke with my dad that our family put the "fun" in "dysFUNctional"... but it was merely a ruse. He... in turn... liked to recount the time when I was a younger teenager, and I was bemoaning the fact that "between heredity and environment... I was screwed." He found it amusing, fortunately... but we both knew that truth is usually veiled in humor.

My family's particular curse happens to be addictions. We have 5 generations (on both sides of the family)... where the men especially, happen to be prone to alcoholism... but there is also drug addiction and smoking and such... as well.

Anyone who has every been around an alcoholic... will understand what I mean when I say... it's not easy.

Today was a family get-together, and while I certainly enjoyed the company and the great food... the scenery and the conversations... it seems like my family can't have a get-together without a little drama. And so it was with great disappointment that I had to take one family member home because of an issue... and check in with another because of the same...

My father was a complex man. He certainly was no angel... and he certainly had his struggles with alcohol in his younger years. But he quit drinking the summer I went away to Germany... and he was definately a better person because of it. I remember his not so pleasant days... but I also remember how he worked hard to change. It was a very profound lesson to me... that we can all grow and change...we can all strive to be better people.... no matter our age, heredity, environment... or past.

... and it made me admire him all the more... to know that he wasn't perfect... but that he was trying hard to be the best person he could be...with no excuses... and no exceptions...

Oh... and by the way... we had clams, and they were excellent!

I highly recommend steamed clams with just a little melted butter on top... YUM.

*photos by Elaine A. Russell