I've spent the last 3 hours contemplating this post... and another trying to type it out with a keyboard that types my letters schizophrenic-ally imposed into the words of the previous line... something is wrong; and has been wrong with my laptop for some time now.... and I don't know how to fix it.
And so... while I listen half-halfheartedly to a documentary on the Great Quake in San Francisco... I absent-mindedly think about Caruso... and how he was there.... singing to a loving throng the night before. .. and woke to such utter desolation. How his entire world as he knew it; from that point on.... was completely changed.
This year has been rather like that in some regard. Not on the epic scale of an earthquake mind you... but change, yes. From living in the desert.... to this northern PA woods. To having a husband working full time and making a size-able income.... to not working outside of the home.... and writing! something he's wanted to do for quite awhile. From working as a full time artist... to ... I don't know... a limbo of sorts.... sometimes working... now not. Wondering what I should do with this portion of my life... wanting to work as an artist... yet knowing that bills must be paid... groceries bought ... all the trappings of everyday life.
Chaos. Desolation... rather somewhat of a tearing down of all I knew previously... and a re-working.... a re-routing... like the wires in my somewhat dysfunctional laptop.
And it's all related... and it's not ... at all.
And, in a matter of weeks; I will be 50. This is somehow significant for me... especially today; as I contemplate where I am .... what I am doing... and why my keyboard is wonky.
I have no answers. But I do have some awesome links for you all:
-about creative people, and how they look at things
-this photo of the Natural History Museum
-thinking about Mardi Gras! celebrations this week... and seeing this article on "ladies of the night" in New Orleans.
-and Lent/Easter coming up as well.... and this blog-post that offers up an alternative to giving things up
-and then there was THIS
-and this...
-and this... (which reminded me of a friend I lost over this exact argument)
-Masaru Emoto... and his water experiments (see a video here)
-and so I listen to this today...
-and came across this on the internet... whoa.
-and I contemplate cool words... like... susurration.. and psithurism...
-and think about cool places to visit this coming year... and here...
-and even here ....more photos
*** here is one more.... for the road....