165:365:2012


I am made of rain
fresh drops on the forest floor
and misty mornings

*****

But I am trying to soak up the beauty that is this desert.
While I definitely long for other places... 
I realize that this is where I am... and where I'm likely to be...
until we can sell our house ... find a job... pay off debt... 
all those wonderful things that must be satisfied...
>>sigh<<

Fortunately ( and for the sake of my sanity )...
BAJ has booked us a flight to a wonderful WET place for the end of June.
And I am anxious to go.

164:365:2012


gazing at brush strokes
laid decades before with love
beauty lies within


*****

This photo is from a trip BAJ and I took last February to Tuscon.
We had gone to the San Xavier Mission... and it was just beyond words.
There is such an enormous amount of beauty here on this earth... if we only look.
((feeling grateful... and yet.. longing for a trip sometime soon))

163:365:2012


broken panes of glass
shattered dreams lie on the floor
with doors wide open

***

It's been a very long, emotional, trying, miserable, hot week... and it's not even officially summer yet.

162:365:2012



my feet on the sand
watering the sunflowers
think I burnt my soul

------------

This photo is from 2years ago when I was in PA.
I was reminded of it today while we were watering the sunflowers growing in our front yard
--- they looked so wilted from the sun...
and well... it's hot here.

161:365:2012



I'm sweltering here;
sizzling in a frying pan.
--"but it's a dry heat"...

*****

It's been horribly hot... like 95 late in the after noon (I'm afraid to look at my thermometer in the heat of the day).
This week has been horrible. Lots of emotional upset.. misunderstandings... heartache... lost dreams...

And then today... I had to go in for a biopsy of a (probable) skin cancer lesion on my leg. 
It actually required stitches... as it was deep and wouldn't stop bleeding.
Anyway... this means... cervical cancer in 81 and 84... lumpectomy in 97... complete hysterectomy/ 1/3 of my bladder and 1/3 of my bowel removed -- also in 97... several skin lesions since then... and now one more.

On one hand... I know it's not a big deal (most everyone in the southwest gets some form of lesion)...
but on another... I am so overwhelmed right now. It seems so much at once. as usual... and yet... ugh.

158:365:2012



decades of weather
will not destroy these old walls
or those of my heart

***

it's been a rough day emotionally.
Like the weather outside... which was very stormy...
(but never did come to fruition)
it was a jumbled, tangled, high-pressured mess.
But still we carry on.

157:365:2012



a blazing sunset
reminds me of the beauty;
burning into night




(( one thing I will say... it that New Mexico has the most glorious sunsets. 
And if we ever move {{please the powers that be... make it so}}... it is one of the things I will greatly miss.
And in the meantime... I will be content... I will enjoy what there is here...
and understand that there is still work here to be done.
***OH! and these photos are straight out of the camera... no editing at all))

156:365:2012




know sadness, but live
in the sacredness of now
~moments pass like wind~

***

((this is an old building in the downtown area of ABQ. I've seen it a grazillion times before; whilst driving around... but never stopped... until yesterday. The lighting was great... and there were all these wildflowers blooming towards the street side. Stunning.))

155:365:2012



change is coming fast
swimming tails to hopping feet
growth is optional

*****

This week has flown by.
The past few days have been filled with doctor appointments... scans... tests...
and then there is the gardening, housework, chores in general...
mix in a little art... alot of music... driving to and fro...
...life moves really quickly sometimes...
And like the "Ferris Bueller" quote
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

((this photo is one I took the other day at the BioPark.
I had gone to pick up an item for some crafts.. just running in to the administration offices...
but the tadpoles in the entry ponds looked SO cute and welcoming.
They reminded me of when I was very little. We had a small dugout in the woods behind out house; 
and I would go up there all the time to watch the swamp life burst forth))

154:365:2012


dancing with the night
a tango under the stars
wrapped up in moonlight

***

I am often a bit sleep deprived.
I think it has alot to do with working nights for the better part of 17yrs.
And while it is certainly frustrating to have a wonky sleep schedule...
there are glorious, wonderful aspects to it.

I never know when I will see a beautiful sunrise...
or be blessed by the most enchanting moonglow...
or be serenaded by owls.
It is wonderful.

153:365:2012


temporary girl
on the edge of womanhood
... hiding her child eyes

*****

I initially wrote this thinking of my daughter when she was younger.
However, upon reflection...
I think this is about all women... regardless of their age..
we are always hiding that "little girl" inside
--- protecting her, shielding her...
(and not enough of the time)... letting her out to play.

152:365:2012



derelict; empty
shattered glass lies under foot
piercing my daydream

*****

one of my favorite places to visit is the local railyards.
Abandoned... they are owned by the city... and it is darn near impossible to get permission (or not)
and sneak in.
However. Once inside... you can feel the ethereal beauty of the place...
of an era gone by...
you can almost hear the whistles blow.



151:365:2012


copies everywhere...
but there is no one like you
~ you are beautiful

*****

sometimes you just need that positive re-enforcement.
someone to say "atta girl"
or "you rock!"

.tell it to yourself today.

(( this is a photo I took when I went on the trip to California back in February.
We had gone to this lake... and amidst the trees down by the water's edge...
was this endearment painted on a rock ))

150:365:2012


try to fence me in
and things will get ugly quick
but I LOVE the paint

*****

I used to have my photos on FlickR...
and every now and then I would see a photo of this fence here in ABQ.
I couldn't find it.
No one seemed to want to share where it was located.
I had just about given up.

Well yesterday, I found it.
Right in plain sight... right where I've been a thousand times before.
How I missed it... I'll never know.

Anyway... it's really, REALLY, cool.




149:365:2012



went down to the bosque
to see the sunset in smoke
damn near choked to death

*****

As a result.. there is the massive city of smoke that has been hovering over us for several days now.
The sun burns some of it off during the day... but then the wind just blows more around,
especially in the evenings.

And while it is stunningly beautiful... especially at sunset...
alot of people (myself included) have been having a hard time breathing.
So... I say to us all... 
take it easy... breathe slowly... and be safe out there.


( and yes, those are the real colors... thanks to the smoke and haze in the air )

148:365:2012



I walk in the sun
down a very narrow road
... rolling like cast dice


~~~

And so... last night the daughter and I went to an art show.
We saw lots of awesome art... and talked with some interesting people.

Life is such a crap shoot sometimes.
Some days are full of WIN
and others... well... 
it makes you want to put up the KEEP OUT sign and buy a shotgun

147:365:2012



tiny juniper
leans over the canyon edge
not afraid to fall

~~~

It is a time of great change.
Not just here; personally... but I think worldwide.
It is a divine opportunity to better yourself... to help one another... to be who you want to be.

And one must ask... are you afraid to fall? Or fail? Leap without knowing?
We all are, I think... but we must still try.

146:365:2012



sipping darjeeling
filling my body with warmth
and my soul with joy

~~~~

Some days you just need to sit back, enjoy some tea...
and make art.
Course, this is AFTER a nap.
And in other news... I finished up adding entries to my second book of Haiku...
so I will soon be starting a 3rd Moleskine :)