Sometimes your wires get crossed. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try... things just fall apart. Sometimes... no matter what you do... things get screwed up.
A few months ago... I was approached with the idea of doing a solo show of my photography, in my hometown back in PA. I was flattered... but it ended up going on the "back-burner"... as my father became ill with cancer. I was back and forth to PA several times. My son excited us all with a spontaneous wedding to his girlfriend. Lots of chaos ensued.
Another set of trips... and I was busy with insurance, finances... all kinds of things; helping my parents as best I could while my father underwent treatments and surgery. Then my father passed. Funeral arrangements, more paperwork than I care to mention... and an emotional rollercoaster.
And a hurried trip back to ABQ, as my son and his wife had a baby. And then my husband was sick. And my daughter was having a health issue... and then my son's family was in a crisis of sorts... and then I was sick... with one thing after another (sinus infection & ear infection --> bronchitis -->bronchial pneumonia --> whooping cough--> an exacerbation of my lupus...)... I had to rest.
I finally had the strength to work on the photos... but I was much later going into it than was originally planned. Much. Too much. I was late. Very late now. Then more financial issues... and I couldn't do the photos as quickly as I had hoped. I was able to print all but ONE when I ran out of ink. Had to wait to get paid to buy more. Then I had a computer virus that temporarily wiped out all my photographs. Had to get that fixed. Had a relapse... and today as I was finally finsihing cutting the mattes, and putting the photos into sleeves and preparing them for mail... and I discovered I was one sleeve short for a photograph. ONE. I kinda had to laugh.
I suppose sometimes it's like this. But I feel awful about it. And I replay in my mind what I woulda/coulda/ shoulda done to have avoided this whole fiasco. And I think that at this point I should just give up. I should admit defeat. I should resign myself to the HUGE FAILURE that I am.
But ... it is a nice opportunity to show people I grew up around what it is I do... AND... it is also a charity event... with all proceeds from the sales of any photographs going to the local Patterson Cancer Care Center back home. And then I think of my sister who bravely battled cancer... and my father who also battled cancer... both with great amounts of dignity, strength and incredible spunk and character... and I love them... and send the photos on their way.