In the continuing saga.... I've hurt my back even more today. I thought that if I only filled the water bucket 1/3 full... I would be able to water the plants on the front patio. Wrong. The good news... I will be able to talk to the doctor in the am at my daughter's appointment. And... I got an appointment with a massage therapist for Saturday... and I'm really looking forward to that. And so... I am kinda limited in the scope of what I am able to do today.
I got a call from my mom. My dad is markedly worse... with a drastic change from where he was even a week ago when I was there. It is so sad. My mom is trying her best to do all that she can... and she has been fortunate in getting help in the transportation areas from friends... which is awesome. But... she is actually a very frail person herself... and she has taken on all the physical care for my dad on her own. Add in the fact that my dad is not his "normal self" since having to take pain medications... and that, in general, the disease process has really altered him (emotionally, mentally and physically). I can't imagine taking care of someone I love and watching them slowly but surely slip away. The goal for most people at this stage of things to is to keep the loved one as comfortable as possible; while still maintaining a quality of life. Dad's medical team is wonderful; and they are trying their best to do just that.
What most people don't consider... is that this is true for the caretaker as well. I wish that I was closer, so that I could be more useful to my mom during this time...but right now it just isn't even a possibility. And I feel horrible about it.
And so... I try to be as supportive as I can from this distance of 1900 miles. I suppose it would be an interesting study in a way... I am alternating between medical/ nurse role to supportive/loving/ daughter role ... as the needs arise. It's a strange mind game, but one that is needed at the moment.
All the while...trying to be as much help to my own immediate family here as well...
My daughter who is on the cusp of graduating and moving on into her own life and goals.... my son and his new bride and their new lives together.... and my dear hubby who has a very stressful job...but one he enjoys nonetheless.
Growth and change.... seems to be the topic for this year.
*all photos by Elaine A. Russell