We have 2 Christmas cactus plants. One… the large one… I bought at a church sale back when I was 8years old. I paid a quarter for it, and brought it home in a Styrofoam cup. at 45+years old…. it has had it’s ups and downs. When mom moved in with us over a year ago, I thought it was mostly dead. She hadn’t been caring for it… and it showed. But today… it is healthy, happy… and blooming.
1-8-19
It was a rough weekend. But then, I was going on very little sleep. My mom goes in binges where she is up and down all night… and this time, it was 10 nights in a row, with me getting little to no sleep during the day as well. But last night, she slept through the night… the first in well over a year where she didn’t get up at least once or twice during the night hours.
As you know, I am also doing a "#createDaily project where I post a photo of something during my stumbling about hours … either something pretty… something curious… an item I am working on.. . whatever. You can see all the photos here… or on my Instagram… or my facebook album.
The photo for today, is of our Goddess plant/ cacti in front of the salt lamp on our kitchen table.
1-7-19
#createDaily
1-6-19
#creatDaily
for the weekend
as promised… here are photos of some of the jewelry pieces I made in November and December when I wasn’t keeping up with the blog.
1-5-19
I’ve always let other people influence me too much.
I was nearly date raped as a teen, because I trusted a “friend” who said I need to experience life more. i was talked out of going to art school because my parents convinced me that as a girl, I needed to learn something practical. I almost married someone who was abusive, because my mom convinced me that I was ugly, and “couldn’t do any better.” I’ve helped folks who (ultimately) took advantage of me… because I was convinced it was my duty as a friend. I tried to get into the “art scene”…. only to be told repeatedly that I had no talent and there was no place for me. These are just examples… but the point is….. I will no longer listen. I am not listening. …
1-4-19
I used to be much more creative than I have been this past year. I feel like, to a certain extent, I’ve lost my way. I need to fix that if I am going to survive. Since this new year, I have resolved to do better. To take more time for me. To start doing the things I love to do again. I will still (of course) try to take care of family matters, mom, the house, etc…. but for so long now I’ve just been staggering through life. Doing what has to be done. I believe my mom is trying to kill me… but it’s more than that. Through taking care of her, I have been killing myself. I have squashed myself down to nothingness. I think, in part, it was an effort to try to win her love. To “tone myself down” into something she would find palatable. But that 1. isn’t possible… and 2. isn’t viable.
A couple weeks ago, my hubby took me to a hotel overnight in a nearby town. It was to be a break away… the first in almost 2yrs. It was wonderful. Sometimes it’s not so much the destination… as the traveling there… the experience… the change of view.
1-3-19
these past few months have been crazy… and horrible… and difficult… and wonderful… all at the same time.
I am very happy that both of my kids are home. It is great to be able to talk with them all the time… share things with them… learn from them… be inspired by them. Jim continues to work from home, with the occasional venture to Virginia. Mom is still here, and requires full time care. Most days are quiet, but she is often up 6-8 times a night. There are days that I think she knows who we are, and other days that she seems to recognize no one, and believes she is either in a home, or in Philadelphia (or both). ZeeZe, the wonder pup, has been having seizures. On average, they were about once a week… and very short. But since Christmas, he has had more. I am taking him to the vet on Monday…. I am worried for him. He has a mitral valve problem, and I think he is having episodes of CHF that are causing the seizures. I too, have been having problems… and was in the hospital with chest pain. I am tired, stressed, too fat…. I could go on. … continued tomorrow.
1-2-19
It’s been a long couple of months since I posted on my blog.
There are many reasons why I wasn’t able to… but the short version is that I was depressed, anxious, and overwhelmed. .. plus I herniated some discs in my back (again). Taking care of my mom full time, has brought on so much more than I anticipated. Add into that our complicated relationship… trying to run a full time artisan business…. taking care of my immediate family…. and well…. I cracked a bit.
I have sold my parent’s home for the estate. i organized my mom’s finances a bit better. Our son moved here to PA, and is living with us… so both our daughter and son are back home. Plus my mom, plus our fabulous pup ZeeZe… makes for cozy living in a small space. All that said… I hope this new year brings about a fresh start. Over the next several days, I will try to “catch up” with a few photos of items I made over the past couple of months, but for today… here is a digital collage I did with photographs I’ve taken.
1-1-19
Happy New Year to everyone! — update tomorrow
(this photograph is actually a collage of 2 separate images. One is a copyright free image from creative commons… of the stars at night. The 2nd photo, is one I took out my front door of the neighboring trees and hills)
